Undertow
by Witmarsh
Summary: After Ep #26. Contains spoilers. Beware, you have been warned - Spike is collecting some thoughts and Faye just happens to be in the middle of it all. (Chapter 3 now up)
1. Default Chapter

**I don't own CB. Even though I wish I did. One day after watching _Speak Like a Child_ again, I felt like trying to write something deep about Faye and Spike. Some of the dialog are exactly as spoken in that episode. If you haven't seen it, or finished the series. GO AWAY! This is some random view of the two I had, and my own desire to see Faye paired with Spike. Even I feel like there's something between them. Even if it isn't said. So I did. Please review!**

  
  
_Staggering down the shattered stairs he limped, the pound of every heavy step touching the cement echoed through the silent air. Hold up a hand and point a finger._

Bang..

Remembering the past does get to you after a while. I can see it again. The same dream played over in my head like a broken record. Julia. Waiting for me in the rain..

So why didn't you? Why did you choose to be pursued?

Why.. 

..did you.. love me? 

Her face so tattered and soaked from the rain. Her hand trembling with the gun clutched between her fingers. Of course I do. She was a piece of me I had lost.. She is my other half that I had longed for.. I came because I was in love.. But now you're dead and Vicious is gone so I no longer have any reason to stay and search anymore.. 

But Faye.. Faye Valentine.. I need a cigarette. That's it. She's like a cigarette. The one you wake up to and take that first drag that completely revitalizes you. That's what I need right about now.. Wait. I was thinking of Julia. And now I'm comparing Faye to a cigarette. I need to quit.. Quit.. 

Faye.. It was hard for a while to see that she was actually a normal woman. Instead of the rampaging beast I knew so well on the Bebop..

The whole act of love is amusing. I don't believe in some form of painless love. I use to convince myself that it didn't need to hurt. Though that just seems impossible to me now. 

Love is not real unless it shares the whole with hate.

..You're always the shy one and I know I'm your shield from the world. It doesn't seem like anything can hurt me anymore. It's better that way sometimes.

**[ FLASH ]**

_Myself ten years from now.. that's so far away from me that I can't even begin to imagine._

Am I alone? Or is there a wonderful person next to me?

Speechless, Spike stared at the screen, the can of liquor slowly lowered to rest atop his lap, as the silence and her words rang throughout the ghostly room. **Faye..**

Her arms fell limp and shoulders sank, placed in the middle of the awkward position she was in. Confronted by a stranger who spoke to her from the past on a screen. An image she couldn't remember. Even though she dug so deep, she couldn't recover the pieces. Even though she knew it was her speaking to herself, she couldn't remember anything..

_Well, knowing me, I'm sure I am troubling a lot of different people._

But that's all right. There's no problem.

I will always be cheering you on.

Spike looked over his shoulder, knowing she'd be watching from a distance. Even more silenced by the heartbreak that tore through her shield. The pain she showed by the expression etched across her face. What suddenly happened to the mask she always wore to hide behind? Her gaze didn't budge for a second. Glued to the girl on the television. The close up she tried to study so hard.

_And now for a big cheer.. from the bottom of my heart._

Go! Go!

Me, me, me!

Do your best, do your best!  
Me, me, me!

Don't lose, don't lose!  
Me, me, me!

The pair of emerald oculars moistened; helpless.

( I don't know.. )

_Go! Go!_

( I can't remember... )

_Me, me, me!_

Do your best, do your best!  
Me, me, me!

Go! Go!

Welling up with tears, she could feel herself falling.

( Is this.. me? )

_I am no longer here... But I'm here today, and I'll always be cheering for you right here..._

Cheering for you, my only self.

Before the tape reached it's very end, she had already disappeared into her room. Shutting the door slowly, she clicked the lock and leaned back, her body sliding down the smooth surface to rest at the bottom, tucking her knees up under her chin. _That was me.. wasn't it.. _

"Faye?" Spike called out softly, knocking on the door lightly with his knuckles.

"....."

"Hey..?"

"........"

"Fine." He blurted out.

Hesitantly she stood and staggered over to the bed where her body fell to rest upon. Suddenly the door was unlocked and there he stood in the doorway. His slouched posture with his hands buried in the depths of his pockets. Wisps of hair obscured her view, the vision of him blurred slightly from the tears in her eyes. She hadn't moved from her side, her hands dangling off the edge of her bed. 

"..Faye.."

"....."

Her gaze shifted to the floor. This wasn't like her. She wasn't about to let her guard down. But she'd sunken so low after seeing that home movie of herself. And so began her desperate search for who she really was, once again. And this time, she'd surely try harder.

"Remembering your past isn't always fun ya' know.. Sometimes it really gets to you.."

"..At lea... at least you know who you are.. not like me... I'm not even sure if that girl was really me.." She pulled her body from its rest and got up again, taking a few steps towards him as he removed his hands from the pockets. Her head hung low, hiding her face from him. He felt splashes of numerous tears fall on his bare toes. 

"F..fay- "

"But.. she is me.. right Spike..?" She muttered lowly, sniffs breaking her sentence. She then looked up at him with a tear stained face lined with ugly black gashes of smeared mascara. "..right..?"

Spike brought up a hand to gently rest itself against her wet cheek, looking at her washed out eyes and trembling lips. The ruff texture of his palm soothed by the silk-like feel of her warm flesh. For a moment he felt a feeling of pain serge through his body. He wanted to wash away the strain and the hurt and the worry and the filth from her face. For a split second he wanted to forget everything that meant anything to him and try to make everything all right again for her..

**

-----

**

Spike sat down and lit a cigarette, Faye asleep quietly under the sheets. Just then, even so faint, he could hear the words she spoke. "..How do you kill a soul... you take it from the inside..... and eat your way out..." He listened, the cigarette hanging from the edge of his mouth. "..After finding out all the debts that I owed, after running away.. ..you're on the phone dialing the emergency help line, crying, because a bottle of pills rolls empty on the bathroom floor.. you're sad again. A broken china doll and you don't know what to do with yourself anymore. You look in the mirror not knowing who you are. Wishing one day you'd look and finally know. And you need me. You need me.. but I don't know who you are.. I throw my cigarette onto the lawn and I say goodbye to myself and become an ambulance all over again.... _Don't lose, don't lose. Me, me, me.._ But I have....I.. I lost me.." She burst into another sob, curling up her body in the sheets. Covering her face and hiding in her arms.

The dying cigarette fell from Spikes lips as he practically leaped out of the chair and onto the bed, wrapping his long arms around her body. His head buried against her ruffled hair. He felt her body trembling beneath their embrace, and without warning she spun around in his grip and clutched him tightly, pressing her body against his, causing him to fall backwards and taking her along. It felt like an eternity. It felt as though he'd fallen from the chapel window all over again, but with Faye holding on to him as though she knew she were safer somehow. As though he'd hold her forever in his arms. All the flashes of Julia. Of Vicious. All replaced with her face. 

Gazing up at the ceiling, his arms held loosely around her torso as she laid atop him with her head buried in the slope between his neck and shoulder.

"Don't let things get weird.. I want it all to go back to normal.. Don't sit around and feel sorry for me. Don't look at me like I'm some helpless animal.." Faye muttered into his ear.

The edge of his lips curled into a soft grin, moving a hand higher to place itself on her head as he moved his own trying to make eye contact with her. "Let what get weird?"

**[ FLASH ]**

_Humming.. Julia is that you? Did we wake up from that dream..?_

"Cleaning you up again off the streets. I'm not a personal servant. I don't even get paid for this.." _Sneered a familiar voice.. It's on the tip of my tongue.._

Groggily rusted hues fluttered open, though all before them left in a smudge and unable to make out any of the surroundings. 

"Oh.. you're awake now.." 

_Faye.._

"Spike, can you talk..?" She asked, leaning over his body. His eyes fixed on her visage covered by strands of hair and the feeling of warm splashes scattering over his face. Another dab of the washcloth to erase the smear of dry blood.

To him every sound felt magnified to a thousand and tore through him like a saw. He cringed trying to shift but that of course failed miserably.

  
  


**See You Space Cowboy. . **


	2. Nicotine

**NOTE: I don't own Cowboy Bebop. This is just for fun. The first publish of the second chapter was kinda rushed and scattered. Below its stated that they slept together, this does not mean naughty sleeping. bad, bad. So I took it off to fix it since I kinda did give the wrong image, which was not originally intended. So here it is. Enjoy.**

  
  
  
Knock. Knock.

Twitching a brow, Jet lazily glanced over to the image of Faye standing in the doorway. He returned to his concentration of trimming the bonsai and aimed just right for the next delicate clip.

Snip.

"Godammit Faye! What?" He abruptly spurted out, moving his head in her direction. "What do you need?"

"..He's awake."

He signaled dismissal by the wave of a hand. "_So_.."

"_So_!?" Snapping right back. Ooh how he hated it when a woman snapped with an attitude. Makes any man weak at the knees. Cringing, he thought about not even responding to that.

"Yeah... _so_.." He grunts, once again focusing on the small plants. He narrowed an eye to get another branch in the right angle before clipping it.

Snip.

"And!? That's it? You...men, they're so heartless.."

His hand jerked at the pitch of her voice and his brow arched before the sight of a deformed bonsai that'd been split in half. Gritting his teeth he stood up and walked up to her, close enough to witness the perspiration on her body. "Hey! I bust my ass cleaning up after you guys and cooking and repairing all those piece of crap machines you fly and hauling this relic around and for you to bite me in the ass now!? Just because I say 'so'!? YOU-" He points a finger, shaking it around, ".. He runs around getting himself nearly killed to prove some point or whatever the hell he's aiming for and raking in the medical and property damage bills when it should be the bounty! And it's always 'ooooh poor Spike'--psssstt.. Should've gotten rid of him earlier.."

Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to yell at her like that, but the woman is so hardheaded sometimes.. He sighed when he realized the look on her face then.

"You two remind me of an old married couple. Really old and withered and arguing over who did what twenty years ago and who was to blame." A two finger salute before her departure that left him kinda speechless.

"Women.. nothing but trouble.." Jet snorted as he retreated back into the bonsai-filled room.

-----------------------------------------

Dazed, Spike's view shifted in and out of focus. He could hear footsteps in the distance and what he could've sworn was talking.. He rubbed his eyes hoping everything would be proportion as Ed's face slowly cleared. She looked kind of disoriented as she looked down at him.

Here we go..

"Spike-person awake! Faye Faye told Jet-person 'He's awake' and Jet-person says 'So what'."

" ...What.. about the good-bye sign..?" His voice was raspy and shallow. It'd been the first sentence said since being dragged back to life.

For a short moment Ed was dumbfounded, the question not registering in her head. "..Oooh... Father-person gone bye-bye. Ed and Ein came back home instead."

She seemed to have fainted after that last one. Falling off the couch all dramatically and waving her stringy arms around. Spike thought perhaps she was reenacting the conversation between Jet and Faye. Ed then flipped over and snaked her way back into the hall.

From the corner of his eye he could see the pack of cigarettes helplessly stacked on the coffee table. Begging for him to reach over and light up. As much as it pained him to even move, somehow he managed to pull his body upward and sit straight up. He took a short break to catch his breath from the groans and stinging sensation racing through his body. _Just a little more_.. Extending a hand, he knew it'd work better if his body moved with it, to actually come in contact with the packs.

"You know for a reasonable fee, I can go over there and help you with that pack of cigarettessss." Faye dragged the "s" knowing he'd get a little torn over the fact that he would need her aid. She strolled casually down the steps and sat down opposite of him.

With a quirky grin, his raspy muttered words. Seemed as though it was all he could do for the time being. "You never give up, do you.."

"Shippin' and handlin'. That's a lotta work on my part. You're the one that has it easy. Sitting there while I'm the one that has to reach over, snag the pack, get a lighter, light it up and THEN.. place it in your mouth."

Chuckling, he groaned from breathing in too hard. "You're right.. that's a lot of work."

From that point on, Faye stayed silent and simply looked at him. Under her glare he felt kind of odd. Like her eyes were penetrating him to see what was hidden underneath. 

"..You alright?"

"..Yeah." _Faye was down. You could hear it in the pitch of her voice. Shallow and low toned as she slouched in the seat lighting up her own cigarette._ "So.. how was death?"

Inhale.

"Short."

Exhale.

Faye gave a wry smile as she leaned forward with her elbows resting atop the knees. "Didja miss me? I bet so.. I mean, a woman like me is hard to let go of." 

Inhale.

"You may have crossed my mind a couple of times.."

Exhale.

Her face was blank after that statement. Staring at him while he puffed away at the cigarette he had suddenly snatched from her fingertips. Every now and then cringing from the pain in his torso. 

"Hehe.. so where do we go from here?"

"Dunno.. but I'm pretty hungry."

Faye chuckled, a hand plunging into her pocket to reveal a small bottle of painkillers. She chucked it in his direction and he surprisingly caught it. He smashed the remains of her cigarette in the ashtray.

"Thanks.."

--------------------------------------------

They were bound to run into another bounty, and about time too since the food was scarce and fuel was running low. Snagging what little cash she had left, Faye ventured off to the stores. Of course, in times of need a woman has to keep up her stunning looks. No way she was gonna look poor and trashy. _No way_.

Faye strolled through the crowded bizarre of Mars. Spike. They'd slept together and instead of waking up empty, there he was, jumbled underneath the covers she gave him earlier that night. She must've fallen asleep while trying to keep him drugged on the painkillers. She was gleaming. Her lips tied into a huge grin reaching clear across her face. The thought that all this hospitality could get to his head, but she wasn't about to let him ruin such a great day..

Not too far ahead, a face shuffling through the crowd. A slick white porcelain visage with slits for eyes and a crack jaggedly traced over the left cheek. Oblivious to the fact that there was even anyone on the streets, Faye walked by without noticing the hand that reached from its hidden pocket of the black coat.

---------------------------------------------------

Socked feet skid across the slick surface of the floor and Spike swings by clutching his abdomen as he enters the so called 'living room' space. "Ed! Where's Faye?"

Ed looks up from the screen, lifting the goggles. Her toes cease to continue typing when asked the question of Faye's whereabouts. "Ed hasn't seen Faye Faye." She looked over to Ein, who was waiting patiently beside the dog dish, as though the mutt could provide the answer. He barked.

"Ein hasn't seen Faye Faye either."

  
  


**See You Space Cowboy. .**


	3. Smoke

**Alright, I didn't explain the whole FLASH concept before, but its basically a switch over to the past. So.. whatever is in-between the words FLASH is the past, and everything before and after is the present.. hope that clears things up for the first chapter. If not, sorry.**

  
  
  
Just a little further..

By just an inch the hand missed it's target.

Heading into one of the clothing stores, Faye noticed the stalker by the reflection in a mirror. So happens she may have been paying attention to the fact that the same person hasn't strayed too far from all the places she's been to. Ducking behind a clothes rack, Faye reached a hand inside the right breast pocket of her coat. 

A hand covered Faye's mouth and she jerked, firing the weapon at the ceiling. The stalker snatched the gun from her hands and hit her across the face with it, shoving her backwards. Faye hit the ground and immediately got to her feet, leaving out the backdoor as quick as she could manage through the clutter of people frantically screaming and yelling. 

Up ahead in a back alley a dim light came from a bar, a neon pink sign winking to itself in the fading sunlight. She was blocked off by a fence. Faye shook the metal confinements and spun around to see how much time she had to kill. But it was too late. There she was, face to face with death.

The figure reached out a hand and pulled the woman effortlessly up by the throat. Faye struggled to get loose raking her nails across those pale arms, but the effort failed as the grip tightened. 

Escaping from her gaping lips a yelp as a twisted blade ran through her, shuddering between them. Her face disturbed, lips drawn back in a grotesque sob as she realized her heart would stop beating, that the pain would pull her down and nothing would pull her back..

She'd fallen with her eyes open, her body sliding off the length of the sword, the weight of her body taking her further down into the shallow pool of old rain. Wide open and losing sight.

The figure knelt down slowly and grasped the chin of her face. "Warning.." 

------------------------------------

Primal red curled between Faye's clenched fingers. _Why.._ A spasm tore through her tender stomach with each step taken, and the pain was becoming an awesome thing to bear. Puddles of water absorbed the blood as it left her body, faithfully ensuring her future to come to a halt, staggering the remaining length of the alley. A presence not like her own consciousness reacted to her, urging her to find help or safety. A cough.. a sputter emptied its vital contents onto the distant ground. This was the end of the road.

"Faye!" Called out a voice that rung a million times but received no answer. Her limp body sagged, falling back her head hit the ground heavily. Blood lining the edge of her mouth, trickling in the crimson puddle below.

"Faye!"

_Spike.._

"Faye!?"

Hallow eyes of emerald hue fluttered to the familiar sound frantically calling her name. Spike fell to his knees and pulled Faye's limp body into his arms, cradling her frail figure, calling her name repeatedly, even if it didn't seem like she knew where or who he was. 

_You.. you were the only one that saw past my facade.. the one that thought it didn't matter who you were because.. the past is the past.. And now.. now..._

I was weak... stupid..... selfish.. I.. needed you..

"Hey!"

His face darkened and her eyes rolled back leaving everything far, far behind and out of focus.

----------------------------------------

"So, turns out someone hired this woman," Jet tossed a picture to Spike over the table before continuing on. Spike picked it up holding it between two fingers and studied the woman standing next to a rather feminine man. "Her name is Miona Snow." Her features or any physical trait for that matter, hidden behind a white porcelain mask of tragedy with a jagged crack racing down the left cheek. "The bounty on this one is a whappin' 150 mil. No one knows what she looks like, apparently this is what she hides under to keep a low profile obviously, but she's no joke.." Peeping barely through the slit where the eyes observe, something solid and ruthless beating behind the shell.

"Hey, are you listening?"

"Yeah, yeah.."

"Lucky for Faye, she wasn't killed."

"..."

Jet curiously looked at his friend, wondering what was on his mind so suddenly.

"It's been three days... you think she's gonna be alright?"

"She's a strong woman.."

With a sigh, Spike shoved the worry to the back of his mind. "How'd we get all this information anyway?"

"Well, seems like our little Faye got in a cat fight before going down. I found tissue under her finger nails and analyzed it. Then looked to see if she had a record and surely enough, here she is. So.. you in?"

"Do you even have to ask." More like a statement rather than a question as he looked up momentarily at his partner. 

Jet smirked, running a hand over the slick surface of his head. "You're right.."

----------------------------------------

Back to the scene of the crime. Jet suggested that it would be the best place to start looking for some clues. Spike cautiously knelt down and ran a finger along a dry streak of blood on the soiled ground. 

Footsteps.

Standing, he turned to face the intruder and smirked. _Never thought the target would come looking for me. Hell, beats going through all the trouble to find her anyway._

"Are you here to avenge your little girlfriends life?" 

Spike cocked the gun he'd pulled from the breast of his coat. "I'm here to collect the 150 mil bounty on your head.."

She sneered. "Then let's not waist anymore time.."

"Fine with me."

Before he could react, she leapt forward, slashing the weapon in hand in his direction. A scythe blade half her size. How she could wield such a weapon with such a thin frame was beyond him. Caught off balance, he stumbled back. Miona sprung from the ground and came down, slamming the metal into the ground Spike just then fled from, leaving indents of the structure to claim its mark. This was too risky. Spike was in no condition to be in a physical fight. His wounds were still trying to heal.

Another swing.

He'd caught it with his bare hands. Clutching the metallic steel that streamed blood down its surface from his grasp. Enraged he slammed her frail body onto the ground having caught her off guard by luck. Tossing the weapon from her possession he got atop her, holding down her arms with his knees. His fist pounding into her face. A thirsting cry for pain that induced pleasure. But her brutality lacked. _Why is she holding back?_ Flaking shards scatter across the ground. Each pounding embrace of his fist breaking further into the structure of her mask. Harder until the final raise of the fist bore the raw muscle of his knuckles.

Surprisingly she had overpowered him and managed to shove him off, giving her enough freedom to snatch the scythe resting near. Spike staggered to his feet, looking down to see the curve of the blade held to his neck. "You're pretty strong.." He said, forcing a chuckle, wincing from the pain as he surely knew his wounds would reopen if he continued on with this childish act.

Her night-black hair, fashionably bobbed, was hanging slightly over her face as the mask slowly crumbled and broke against the ground below. She wore no makeup or jewelry, save for a serpent tattoo curling up her jaw. "What a joke... Find me again when you're fixed up."

He didn't exactly know why he let her walk, but he did. The thought of Faye scraping up his body again nagged at him.

  
  
  
Emerald oculars shifted to a corner, trying to glue together numerous visuals of a man seated near her side lighting a cigarette. That funky hair-style.. how could she not know it was Spike.

"That was a close call Faye.." He muttered, not even knowing if she was sober enough from the drugs to actually understand what he'd just said. So he continued, taking his chance, but she interrupted before he even uttered a single word.

"Do you know what it's like.. to love someone that could never love you the same in return.." She winced, shutting her eyes tight as the tears began to flood. How could she confess something like this. _It's the drugs. Blame it on the drugs.._ She groaned from the pressure inside her chest that stabbed at her wounds. "Everything that I ever touched.. crumbles to dust.."

"There once was a tiger-striped cat. This cat died a million deaths and was reborn a million times.. ..and was owned by various people who he didn't care for. The cat wasn't afraid to die.. One day, the cat was a free cat, a stray cat. He met a white female cat, and the two cats spent their days happily together. Years passed, and the white cat died of old age. The tiger-striped cat cried a million times, and then died. It never came back to life.."

Faye sniffled, her watery eyes fluttering open once again to see him. The anguish that hung heavy in her heart glistening over the moist surface of her gaze. 

Spike chuckled, giving her a cunning smile. "I guess I haven't found the right white cat yet.."

Faye pulled herself upward, unsure whether or not she could handle the pain in her torso, and as though he knew exactly what she wanted, he stood from his seat, smashing the cigarette in the ashtray as he knelt down before her.

He leans forward.

Such alluring passion. Could it really have existed all this time right under his nose. His lips pressed firmly against the ruby tiers that trembled underneath their touch. His hands hesitant to take hold, yet calmly found their way to lay upon the smooth curves of her hips. Her slender long arms extend and those spider-like fingers gently slither over the wrinkled cloth of his beige shirt to connect from behind and embrace tightly. Parting their lips, his rough hands levered to caress the silk feel of her visage, running the thumb over her speechless lips, smearing the ruby lipstick down her chin. Another embracing moment between the two as they again locked lips, his hands cupping her delicate face in their palm, inching over the texture as though if he pressed any harder, she'd crack under his touch. 

_This feels.. so right.. Please don't go.._

Spike's lanky build stood from its position and moved onto the couch, her arms leaving his torso, resting her hands over his, feeling his fingers between hers as he stayed true to her, never breaking their intimate contact. 

  
  


**See You Space Cowboy...**


End file.
